#8 Down with the sickness!!!!

Well, it's been a difficult past 2 weeks. Sorry I haven't been updating in a timely fashion. It gets a bit hard to admit whats going on. As if not writing about it will make it go away. I wish. Well mom hasn't been feeling well for some time. She had quite a bit of tightness in her chest and has been really really weak. Her pulse was super low, and her heart rate was super high!! We finally convinced her to call the doctor. Basically he said get in here, and they ran a bunch of tests. Turns out she had/has pnuemnia. They gave her an IV, to hydrate her, and to administer a big whopping dose of antibiotics. They also gave her some in pill form to take at home. She is continuing on Dialysis, and for the past week the techs at the Dialysis Center have been juicing her up with doses of antibiotics in her IV. She drove herself to the hospital today for a follow up. They took x-rays and will let her know tomorrow how the pnuemonia is looking. She also is having more MOHS surgery tomorrow.

Despite how weak she is, mom is still as stubborn as ever about receiving help. She wants to drive herself to her appointment tomorrow. Every once in a blue moon does a scheduling conflict come up between me and dad as to how to get mom somewhere. She will not be driving herself tomorrow. I will not let that happen. She insists she is use to having her low blood pressure and will be fine. But everyone is fine until they are not. All I need is for her to get in a car accident and get hurt, let alone hurt someone else.

Its been quite hard watching someone you love deteriorating. She has almost no energy after Dialysis, and where as before, she was feeling pretty good the day after, has slowly diminished. She is tired all the time, and usually in some sort of pain. The quest for a transplant has gone silent. No new people have been tested, and I haven't heared anything about a Match Type from the Paired Donation Network. I thank everyone for the initial interest in wanting to help out, but we still need help. If you werent originally qualified to donate to mom, you can always be part of the Paired Donation Network. If worse comes to worst, and mom never received a transplant, I will still remain in the system. I will gladly donate a kidney to anyone who can use it.

This whole experience had taught me a lot. I continue to learn everyday. It has been a long hard journey thus far. I feel I am starting to break in my spirit. I try to remain strong for my mom and my dad. But it is getting hard. Watching day by day someone struggling and you can't make it go away or solve the problem. A lot of my friends have stopped asking about her or myself. What people fail to realize is that this isnt something that will just go away, or get better by itself. There isn't going to be a time when you ask how things are that you are going to get a positive god news answer. She is dying, and without a transplant she will eventually die. Just because there isn't positive news on the daily, doesn't mean it doesn't mean something to me when you inquire or offer words of encouragement. Seems to be far and few in between. I thank all of you who have been there for me, and have offered your support. You know who you are. I love you.